Times Of Our Lives
by emmyloser
Summary: A collection of song fics, all based off of songs that remind me of the guys. Chapter two: Honestly, Logan-centric. Logan is officially done with his crazy ex-girlfriend.
1. Don't Let Me Get Me

**I have some song fics swimming around inside my head and I figured I might as well post them. They probably aren't that great and I know a lot of people are gonna read this and be like 'whatever', but I figured someone out there must like them, and as long as there's at least one person out there to enjoy them, that's enough for me! Onward! **

**Song: **Don't Let Me Get Me

**Artist: **P!NK

**Main character: **Kendall

**Summary: **Everyone always thinks of Kendall as the fearless leader; the one who let's nothing get to him. No one knows he's really a mess inside, in a constant war with himself. No one knows he's his own enemy.

_Never win first place, I don't support the team I can't take direction, and my socks are neverclean _

The whistle from the referee blew, signaling the end of the game. The sound rung through Kendall's ears like a flat line on a heart monitor. They had just lost. Again. He knew it was all because of him.

He skated over to the bench, sitting down and letting out a heavy sigh. He wanted nothing more than to go to the locker room and get changed so he could go home. However, Coach Branigan had a few choice words for him first.

"Kendall! What the hell was that! You were supposed to pass the puck to Greg! How many times do I have to remind you there's no 'I' in team? You need to be a team player, Knight! If you ever want to make it as a professional in this sport you better learn to be a member of the team!"

Kendall nodded wordlessly and rolled his eyes as soon as Coach stomped off, still fuming. He could tell Coach wasn't the only one pissed at him. His teammates shot him disapproving looks as they hustled to the locker room. This wasn't the first time they'd lost a game because Kendall thought he was too good to share the spotlight.

Kendall didn't care one bit. He loved hockey, but hated his team. Even though Carlos, Logan and James were on the team, it made no difference to him. He knew he was better than anyone else on the team. Why should he have to listen to Coach B's stupid plays? More than half the time that they lost was because Coach didn't know what the hell he was doing.

Kendall was pulled from his thoughts by James thumping him on the back.

"C'mon man, let's go," he paused for a minute and sniffed at the air, "aw, dude, when's the last time you changed your socks?"

_Teachers dated me, my parents hated me I was always in a fight cuz I can't do nothin'right _

On a typical Tuesday afternoon Kendall was in Miss Tianelli's classroom. The door was locked and the blinds pulled shut. The window on the door was covered with dark construction paper and the room was as dark as it could be at four o'clock.

Miss Tianelli's tight skirt was wrapped up around her waist as Kendall pushed deeper into her, pressing her petite frame tight between himself and her mahogany desk. Papers were askew on the floor and the desk shook slightly with their rhythmic motion.

"Kendall," she breathed out heavily.

"Shh," he hushed her, feeling the climax of his orgasm approaching fast.

He groaned in pleasure as he felt himself pour inside of her. Miss Tianelli dug her nails into Kendall's bare back, doing her best to hold in her scream as she climaxed right along with him.

Finishing up, Kendall climbed off of her and disposed of the used condom. Zipping up his pants and buttoning up his shirt, he makes his way over to the door.

"See you tomorrow, Tiffany."

"Kendall! Um, wait," Miss Tianelli called out to him. Kendall smirked at her as she smoothed out her skirt and ran a hand through her sexhair.

She cleared her throat. "I'd like that paper on the Bill of Rights handed in Friday, don't forget.

Kendall chuckled. "Right." He nodded to her and left without another word.

Later at home, Kendall walked in the door and tossed his coat on the floor with the others. He looked over to the couch and saw Katie watching some murder special. After saying a quick hello to her, he made his way to the kitchen.

"Mom! Mom, did Dad call for me today? Or send a letter or anything?" Kendall asked her.

Jen Knight took a drag from her cigarette, ignoring her son until she exhaled, letting smoke poor from her nose like a dragon.

"What do you want?" She asked him to repeat himself.

"Dad. Have you heard anything from Dad?" Kendall asked again.

"Oh. No," Jen responded. She put her cigarette out in the ashtray and took a sip of her scotch.

"Whatever," Kendall shook his head in disappointment. His father promised to call him or write him at least once a week. He hadn't heard anything in three months now. He didn't even know where his father was anymore. Pushing those thoughts aside, he turned to his mom again, "What's for dinner?"

"Oh, you can just whip up whatever is in the freezer for you and your sister. I have to go to work," his mother slurred as she got up from the kitchen table.

Kendall opened the freezer to reveil a tray of ice cubes, a freezer bitten chicken breast and a half eaten gallon of vanilla ice cream. Upon checking the fridge, he found a jar of peanut butter and leftover white rice from the Chinese food his mother brought home a week before. Kendall grumbled unhappily as he slammed the refrigerator door shut.

"Hey, Mom, you know what would be cool? If you used some of the money you spend on booze and cigarettes to buy some food for me and Katie!"

"Don't you raise your voice to me, Kendall Knight! I'm a single mother now and I do what I can! I work two shifts at the diner just to support your ungrateful ass!" She hollered back.

"Well it's obviously not enough when we never have food in the house!"

"I'm doing the best I can, Kendall! You'll just have to make do with what we have!"

"Oh yeah, because God forbid you make do without your pack a day and hourly glass of whiskey!" Kendall spewed out the venomous words.

"You shut up right now, Kendall Donald! What I do is none of your business! You're a child and some things you just don't understand!" Jen barked at him.

"What I understand is that me and Katie are hungry! Maybe you'd understand too if you'd start being a mother and quit being a whore!"

Kendall's words were met by a hard hand across his cheek. He looked up to see the most furious, upset look he'd ever seen on his mother's face.

"Don't you ever talk to me like that again. You're just like your father."

With that, Mrs. Knight grabbed her jacket and headed off to work. Kendall could only shake his head as he sat himself down on the kitchen floor.

_Everyday I fight a war against the mirror I can't take the person starin' back at me _

Kendall wiped the fog off the bathroom mirror with his hand. He wrapped a towel around his waste and leaned on the sink for support, weakened by what he saw when he glanced at the mirror.

He couldn't help but laugh at himself. A deep, dark chuckle. It was funny; funny how the Kendall everyone saw at school was not the same Kendall he saw everyday. Everyone knew him as cocky and fearless. Even his best friends in this entire world thought he was proud of who he was and all he stood for. He was the only one who knew the truth.

He just put on a show for everyone, acting the way he wish he felt all the time. Truth was he was nothing more than a lost little boy inside a man. He had little to no idea who he was. Honestly, looking in the mirror, he couldn't stand what he saw staring back at him.

_I'm a hazard to myself Don't let me get me I'm my own worst enemy Its bad when you annoy yourself So irritating Don't wanna be my friend no more I wanna be somebody else _

He was dangerous. Not so much to other people, but to himself. With every little mistake he made he felt himself growing more and more frustrated with himself. Only he knew what it was like for every turn he made to be the wrong one. The self-hatred grew and grew and grew, piling up inside of him. He wondered how much time he had before he'd finally explode.

He was so irritated with himself all the time. He knew his friends' lives where no where near perfect, but he often found himself thinking that they were still better than his. He didn't always wanna be Kendall Donald Knight. Sometimes he just wished he could be someone else.

_LA told me, "You'll be a pop star, All you have to change is everything you are." Tired of being compared to damn Britney Spears She's so pretty, that just ain't me _

Even after they made it big in LA. Even after his mother quit smoking and drinking. Even after things seemed to be looking up, Kendall still couldn't be happy. After all, he was still Kendall. He was still the same messed up dude he was in Minnesota. The only difference is that people were starting to notice.

The producers told them they'd be big, that they really had a shot. All they had to do was change everything about themselves. They needed to change their image, their answers to interview questions, who they were.

One day while sitting in the salon chair in hair and makeup, Kendall finally asked the stylist, "What's all this for? I mean, why can't we just be who we are?"

The stylist laughed, "Oh, honey, that's not how it works in Hollywood. How about we wax those eyebrows of yours? You know, Justin Bieber is really big right now and you'd never find him walking around with those bushes on his face. Gotta keep up with the Joneses, you know?"

_Doctor, doctor won't you please prescribesomethin A day in the life of someone else? Cuz I'm a hazard to myself_

Depression. That's what his doctor diagnosed him as. Kendall only rolled his eyes at his doctor's obviousness. Had it really taken this long for someone to notice this?

"I'm going to start you on 100 milligrams of Prozac a day."

Kendall smirked. They just didn't get it. They good give him pills to be happy. They could give him pills to sleep, pills to wake up, and pills to function. He didn't need any f that though. What he really needed was to get away, to be someone else if only just for a day.

He would kill to be James Diamond, pretty boy extraordinaire or Logan Mitchell, the thoughtful brainiac just for a day. He'd give his left arm to be Carlos Garcia, innocent daredevil. He'd do anything if he could just take a break from himself. He wished with everything he had in him that he could go to sleep and wake up far, far away from Kendall Knight.

_Don't let me get me I'm my own worst enemy Its bad when you annoy yourself So irritating Don't wanna be my friend no more I wanna be somebody else_

He was starting to get to himself and he wished someone could stop it. He hated being who he was, whoever that was anyway. He was so irritated all the time and the worst part was that he was the cause of it. His biggest enemy in his life was his own self. When you're fighting a war with yourself it makes it impossible to win. Hell, what are you even fighting for?

He wished he could be someone else, yes. However, wishes seldom come true, especially when they're impossible.

So life continues for Kendall, everyday the same old secret. No one, no one could ever know him. No one would ever know what a danger he was to himself.

**I feel like this is the best thing I've written in a long time. I really liked it and I hope whoever just read this really likes it too. I would really appreciate some feedback, just to be sure about it. Thanks for reading **


	2. Honestly

**Disclaimer: I don't own BTR, Honestly, or Hot Chelle Rae. **

**Song: **Honestly

**Artist:** Hot Chelle Rae

**Main Character: **Logan

**Summary:** It's official: Camille has officially lost it. Logan's finally come to realize that she's just plain crazy and honestly, he just doesn't care.

_Honestly, why are my clothes out on the street?  
>Honestly, I think you've lost your mind<em>

Logan was exhausted. It'd been another long rehearsal, nine hours to be exact. His muscles ached from all the dancing, his voice was tired from a very intense vocal session. He was definitely looking forward to going back to the apartment and crashing in the comfort of his own bed.

Too bad nothing can be that easy when you're the boyfriend of the eccentric Camille Roberts. As their limo rounded the corner, a street full of clothes came into view. A particular pair of black boxers with bananas all over them gave away that they were indeed Logan's clothes.

"Dude, are those your-" James started.

"Yup," Logan quickly cut off with a light sigh.

"What are they doing on the-" Kendall began to ask.

"Camille," Logan answered.

"Logan," Carlos began, seriously, "You're girlfriend is crazy."

"I think she's actually lost her mind this time."

_I can't believe I came home to find my car keyed  
>Honestly I'm way too tired to fight<br>Round and round drama every time_

Logan kicked at the ground, infuriated, as he inspected the scratch that burned into the driver's side door of his brand new Chevy Camaro. He almost couldn't believe it. Like, he knew she was mad at him for whatever reason, but mad enough to actually _key his fucking car? _This was getting ridiculous.

He knew this was exactly the reaction she wanted from him. He knew she was waiting by the phone for him to call, to yell, to scream. Honestly, he didn't have the energy to give her that satisfaction this time. That'd just have to wait for tomorrow. He was too tired to argue with her. It was the same thing every time and honestly, it was getting old.

_Ima go 'cause I got no  
>Problem with saying goodbye<br>Is it wrong that I'm gonna be  
>Having the time of my life<em>

That's it. He was officially done with her. Logan held his head high with confidence as he walked away from his shocked ex-girlfriend. Normally when they broke up he felt some kind of resentment, an unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach. But this time, he only felt excitement. He felt free at last!

Never looking back at Camille, who still stood by the pool with her mouth agape, he headed up to 2J to get ready for an evening out with his friends. He was going to a party tonight, and for once he wasn't going to worry about anything but having the time of his life.

_'Cause deep down I know  
>I should cry I should scream<br>And get down on my knees  
>I should say that I need you here<br>But I'm gonna party tonight  
>'Cause honestly I just don't care<em>

This wasn't wrong. Okay, maybe it was a little wrong, but honestly, who cares? He knew deep inside he should be crying his eyes out right now. If history repeated itself, which it often does, he should be yelling and begging on his knees for forgiveness for something he never did in the first place, for another chance. He should be throwing compliments her way and convincing her that without her, he was nothing.

But that wasn't the case. He didn't want to lie through his teeth anymore. He was done with lying to her, to himself, to everyone. He wanted to be bitter and petty towards her. He wanted to live a life without fear of a psycho girlfriend. He wanted to party.

And he really didn't care about the cost because, honestly, he had nothing to lose.

_Honestly everybody's stoked I'm finally free  
>Honestly my phone's blowing up tonight<em>

Logan couldn't stop the smile that slowly crept onto his face. Word had gotten out fast about the breakup. He hadn't even gotten to the party yet and congratulatory messages littered his Twitter, Facebook and cellphone.

In fact, his phone was blowing up. Phone calls and texts from excited buds and cute girls came in a never ending flood.

God, life was good.

_I'll go out get drunk again  
>Make out with all your dumb friends<br>Tag your face just to rub it in_

"I'll take another shot, right here!" Logan drunkenly yelled to the bartender.

He tossed the shot down his throats and pulled the pretty girls on both sides of his closer. They were Marissa and Leslie, a couple of girls Camille had worked with on the set of a movie before.

"Omygosh, Logie, that was just adorable how you downed that drink!" Marissa giggled.

"Yeah! You should totally be a professional!" Leslie agreed quickly as she flipped her blonde hair around.

There girls were the epitome of stupid, but that didn't matter, not tonight. He only needed them for one thing. He brought Leslie's lips closer to his and slowly began what would quickly turn into an intense make out session. An iphone camera quickly captured the image and Logan smiled as he uploaded it on Facebook, tagging Camille in it, just to piss her off.

_Don't roll up when they're playing my song  
>Don't act right when you know you're dead wrong<br>You're out of line, out of line, good night_

Logan rolled his eyes when his phone rang and she popped up on the caller ID.

"Yeah?" he answered unenthusiastically.

"What the hell are you doing?" Camille's frantic voice demanded.

"I'm having a good night for once, not that it's any of your concern."

"It's most definitely my concern! Just because we broke up doesn't mean you can go out, kiss other girls and do things without me!" she yelled.

"Um, yeah, actually I think it does."

"You don't get paid to think! I'm coming there, right now!"

"Hold up a minute, we broke up! Don't go trying to ruin my night! Just leave me alone! It's over, we're over! And like usual, you're out of line! Goodnight!"

He ended the call and went back to the party without a second thought.

_Well I'm undercover, you can drop that bomb  
>It's a little too late cause I'm already gone<br>I'm already gone  
><em> 

Camille was furious. This wasn't like all the other times they'd broken up. This time he was actually gone. She was losing power fast and there was nothing she could do about it.

Trying get her mind off of things, she logged onto her Facebook account, only to be greeted by dozens and dozens of messages and posts telling her what a psycho she was and how much better Logan was without her.

One message in particular stuck out. It was from some girl she'd never even seen. It read, "Seriously, Camille. You drove him away. You did this. Don't go blaming him or anyone else. This one's all you, babe!"

She slammed her laptop shut and clicked off her bedside lamp.

_Honestly you did it to yourself  
>So don't blame me<em>

**Hope you liked it! Drop me a review if possible!**


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